I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks.

It’s been 10 days. Weird, but true. Since then I turned down a job, got another job offer, applied for another job, got a job as a substitute teacher for rainy days, am going crazy thinking about grad school, bought a sofa and feel pretty much the same.

I thought that as soon as RUF told me it was over and that weight of fundraising was off of my shoulders I would be right back to a “normal” life. It’s not so simple. Now I have just picked up another weight; what am I doing? I usually laugh around every hour when I realize what I have been doing for that hour, or that day. So about the jobs, there are none I want and if there are guess what I am not “qualified” to them. Apparently in the four years I was in college they changed their minds on what qualifications means. Now it means you have to 5 years or more of experience doing exactly what the job you are applying for is. I’m sorry I am confused as to why anyone is applying to your open position that already has a job for a steady 5 years doing this SAME thing. Anyways it’s weird. You need experience, I get it.

So the jobs I want I can’t have and the jobs I get offered are stinky pay with no benefits. Needless to say I am still holding out but I will know in a week what the official deal is. In the mean time I am driving myself crazy thinking about graduate school. I always told myself that I wanted to either go to grad school or seminary and get a masters in counseling. And by always I mean in July I decided this. While yes the pregnancy center has been extremely good to me in spurring on my heart for counseling women, I find myself wanting to study it so badly. I find it all extremely interesting and to have a masters in a field where I can really see myself permanently is really exciting. I’ve also found out you can do numerous things with said degree and it interests me even more.

But here are my negatives. I don’t want to just do it cause its easy (even though it definitely won’t be). I don’t want to jump into fast either (although the application is due October 1^st). Money (ahhhhh what a scary thing, yet I think I can pay for it with me working).

Here I am left thinking still. But enjoying tremendously the grace of God and his provision in even the hard realities of life.

It's funny when you find things.....

Found this post lingering on my computer waiting to be posted but never having the chance. I figure why not............

I am definitely not one for words these days but I will attempt summarizing what is going through my thoughts as of now. As most you know by now I am no longer continuing with raising support because as of yesterday I am not an employee with RUF. I was around 20% short of a deadline I was suppose to meet on Monday. And it wasn’t an impromptu good-bye it was well thought out by the staff in Atlanta. Personally I wasn’t seeing how the rest of the finances would come about either. That’s not to say that I couldn’t have faith in God and his provision (as he has seemingly provided ever penny of the 50% I did get), there just comes a bit of concern when you are still in need of $15,000 and not sure that there is another person you know to ask.

This summer has been extremely hard, but worth every tear and laugh. It wasn’t really until two weeks ago that I begun to think “Oh no! This might not happen? What the hang!” And through those two weeks I learned more about my sin than the whole summer really. I learned about how eager I am to be independent apart from anything and everyone. How easily I am moved to immaturity when my “dreams” are threatened. That I have a lot of emotions that I have kept hidden away for a long time because of a wrong imagine of them being a weakness.

So when I got the dreaded email about this Monday being “the Monday” all those emotions came pouring out, I think it was best that I was by myself because frankly I would have put someone like me in the mental institution after that fit. But then I breathed and realized…… I am alive:) I am alive and my soul is well. I am alive in Christ. Yes tomorrow is going to be very confusing. Yes I love RUF and wanted so badly to be apart of what they are doing in the kingdom of Christ. Yes I thought Western was a perfect fit for me and that Dave was an amazing campus minister, one whom I would have gotten along well with. Yes I was following everything my heart wanted and now it can’t have it. But I am filled with a rest and peace that is only found in Christ Jesus.

Its funny when “dramatic” things happen say you thought you were doing one thing one day and the next have no clue what to do people start chiming in. Not to say it’s a bad thing at all, I personally think its great cause it shows people’s character and what they may have been through. Anyways I have had variety of response.

“Don’t worry God has something better.” – I personally don’t like this one. As a human my thinking is one track and one dimensional, I clearly don’t see anything better or I wouldn’t be so upset!

And then it just ends so there you go......

Right Now.

It certainly has been awhile. Since I last wrote I have moved back home, thus left Richmond, went to training, cried 90% of the days since then, learned more about myself than I have in the past four years, raised $15,000, spent a week at my parent’s lake house, saw my family in new jersey, got a slr film camera and bought a bike:) It has been a rollercoaster to say the least.

Truly I could be an emotional drama queen right now but it has come to my knowledge that I have been saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, and I find my peace in that. It has been a hard past 3 weeks trying to get the rest of my needed funds to move to North Carolina as the semester began yesterday. Last week I wasn’t okay with the fact that I was going to be there. And then I spoke in front of the Grace Bible congregation. It was before them that God humbled me to speak reality to myself more so than to them. Its not about me.

In many ways it was about me. It was about me getting there in time. It was about me being the new help at Western. Now its not. Its about me realizing that God is at work without me. He is working hard at Western without me there, and even if I do go there he will be just about the same work. He has been at work here as well, in my own heart.

For the past three months as I have patiently raised money I have been avoiding the many things the Lord has been showing me with in my character and personality. I don’t think it appropriate to disclose every detail of all my faithlessness and sinfulness, but before you I acknowledge that I am just that. And if it weren’t for the grace of Christ paying my debt and counting me free I would definitely be in a bigger mess.

I have learned such a gratefulness through this process that I am so thankful for. Growing up I never knew what it was to be thankful or sincere, but with the love and support people have shown me I have learned to love the hand that gives, and gives generously.

While I am still attempting to raise the rest of the needed money to be able to move to campus, I find day by day my faith and relience on God’s hand in all of this. I pray that it all comes through. I pray that it all happens this week truthfully. I pray that I have faith in His time and not mine own. However I did have the dreaded conversation with my parents about what if. And the response was just as humbling as all of this. Learning to have a loving and sincere relationship with my parents is hard but refreshing. And somehow they have begun saying and doing the exact things I need in these moments.

This week is going to be a bit tough as I have to get quite a bit more commitments from people in order to continue on. However the most encouraging thing happened to me today. I got turned down from a church. True. But that was just the start. While I wasn’t expecting anything really from this church I contacted today cause I have no personal relationship there, what the fellow had to say was kind and genuine. We spoke for several minutes about RUF and what I was doing and how I became a Christian and how he became a Christian and then he asked to pray for me. Here I am calling this guy I have never meet, up at a church I have never been to, who I speak to for the first time and he prays for me over the phone. I don’t know if anyone has had this happen to them, but it brought me to tears. That is the love of Christ. That is the body of Christ.

And so God has been growing me and humbling me and teach me more about his grace and more about the grace others have towards us. I hope I can get to campus soon:)

Note: This was not proof-read before I posted it. With no internet on a daily basis there is no time for that.

Fell in Love with NC.

So you may or may not know that this past week I went to North Carolina. Well really the week started out with going to West Virginia to visit some family there. I stayed with my grandma who is the most amazing woman in the world. She gives when she doesn't get in return and she loves when she doesn't want any love in return. She really is THE most selfless person in this world, and it is beautiful. Therefore she spoiled me rotten by taken me here and there. She even knows me the best out of all my family members, minus my sister that is. She took me to one of the coolest places in West VA probably. It was a local art gallery and it was just a funny/fun place to go to with her.

Then on Wednesday I left to drive another 4 hours to NC. Little did I know that this was going to be the MOST beautiful drive ever. It certainly tops the charts. If you are ever in need of a good drive just go get on 26 around Tennessee and North Carolina and boom your there. MOUNTAINS are divine and not much traffic, along with a decent speed limit of 70. Anywho the drive was nice and Sylva/Cullowhee (where I hope to be moving in the fall) was just as beautiful. I really felt like I was in Colorado to be honest, or what I imagine Colorado to be because honestly I have never been there. Mountains so high, none of this rolling hill junk.

I got to stay with Dave Osborne, the campus minister I will be working with at WCU (who gave me two new books while I was there and if you want a way to this girls heart its through the giving of a book), and his family. Jennie his wife, Owen his six year old son who is the most hospitable six year old I know, Dabney his four year old daughter cute as a button and Bergan who is two and shook my hand when I left and said nice to meet you:) The highlight of the trip really. They were a wonderful family and I really hope to see much more of them here in the fall. I got to see the campus of WCU where they were doing much remodeling. But overall it reminded me a lot of JMU. Nice tight little campus with everything a student would need. I don't really see myself getting to lost in finding my way around there.

It was a true blessing to go and visit this place that has almost seemed imaginary until now. Now I have a picture in my mind of what it looks like, smells like, feels like, seems like, etc. At first I thought oh no maybe this was a bad idea if I end up not raising enough money and the visit would have been waisted. But honestly it was totally needed, whether I go or if I stay I am so excited about RUF at WCU and I am so excited to be pursuing it. Although at the moment I am wanting to rip my hair out because of moving and fund raising going on at the same time, and mind you I am not skilled in either area, I have that rest that abides in Christ and this short little trip has reminded me of that.

Pray for Finances! yes of course I need prayer for that and yes I need more money but I am staying faithful as I trust in God's true faithfulness in his glorious sovereignty. Pray for Dave and his family as they prepare for the semester. Pray for my moving back to my parents while in between things goes well and at a stress level of non-existent. Pray for the grace of Christ to abound so much in my life that it would know by all who surround me daily.

What have you been up to?

Working on my baby photography with the new babe in the family.

Took a guitar apart in order to make it into an art piece, it stopped there though.

Made some AmAzInG chili, turkey that is.

Made this and I was told it was lame. It has coins from everywhere I have traveled.

And this is my favorite. I finally framed my Love Spoon from Wales and have some Danishness behind it. So I have been up to a whole of distracting art stuff if you can tell. The summer has been really good, the weather has been amazingly mild. The fundraising is going, of course not the way I want it to but God is teaching me and sanctifying me and showing me all my flaws and all His Greatness. I am moving in exactly two weeks from today and it is the most mixed emotions I have ever had. Although I am not moving to North Carolina but back to my parents, hopefully only for a short period of time, I am excited for a change of scenery and sad to leave Richmond. I LOVE RICHMOND! And a tear will be shed on Thursday July 23rd.

Trusting God.

"To question the goodness of God is, in essence, to imply that man is more concerned about goodness than is God... To suggest that man is kinder than God is to subvert the very nature of God... It is to deny God; and this is precisely the thrust of the temptation to question the goodness of God." (145)

Asking.

So the first book on my reading this summer for RUF is this book called Asking by Jerry Panas. And it was AMAZING! If anyone ever finds themselves raising money for either a short-term mission trip or starting a whole new ministry or even doing a small part of a HUGE ministry like RUF, they should have the requirement of reading this encouraging book. Panas outlines not the methodology or tricks to fundraising but the real purpose and attitude we are to have. I was most encouraged by a few tidbits that I will share. One this "fundraising" that I and 41 other interns are currently doing is not "begging". I did have someone tell me I was too good to beg for money. And to them I now know the correct response. I am not to good to beg for money, BUT begging is not what I am doing. I am offering an opportunity to anyone and everyone to be apart of a mnistry that has a purpose for Christ, a goal for Christ, and will change and save real lives. To think about it in this way is extremely encouraging. This is an opportunity for us all to embrace Christ and the gifts he has given us to reach college students with the gospel for the gospel. Secondly there is no failure in this process. Christ does not need me. But he has called me in this moment to persue this ministry. If someone says "No" or "Yes" they are under the sovereignty of God. He says, "In his career Michael Jordon said he missed nearly 10,000 shots, lost over 3,000 games, and missed making the decisive shot dozens of times."-pg.13 He failed many times but that was also apart of his success. How encouraging! You're never a loser until you quit trying and you don't have to be great to start BUT you have to start to be GREAT!!!! I could say so much more about this book and how I completely understand why they require us to read it. For now I want to leave my fellow interns with this qoute,

"Get ready for the great adventure. Because of you and the funds you raise, you'll be directly reponsible, through your organization, for changing lives. You're making it happen."-pg.11

RUF Orientation.

When I got off the plane and into my sister’s car I said “this past week changed my life, I think”. Why, with a laugh is what she said. Its possible to say its changed my life for numerous reasons but I think that mainly it has enhanced every reason I didn’t know before about why I want to work for RUF. Spending a week in Atlanta sounded like this cool vacation that I would get to have, however I could not have imagined the week without spending 10 hours a day in those freezing cold conference rooms.

To start off I got to meet probably 35 of the coolest people my age from around the country. I cannot praise God enough for calling them all to serve with RUF and to have them available to me as friends! They were kind, loving and supportive the moment we exchanged names and which schools we would be working at. I felt like it was summer camp almost with the amount of time we got to spend sitting next to one another, but overall I now have many more close friends to confide in as a result.

We spent time going over the logistics of insurance, how tos of this and that, who to call with a problem and who not to call. While all this was so refreshing because it now made this huge idea of working for RUF a reality, my favorite part of the week was the POM.

No we didn’t sit around and drinking that expensive pomegranate juice called POM, although I wouldn’t had minded. POM stands for philosophy of ministry and this is what I already see God using to work on my heart. We learned that ministering isn’t some big cloud of just sharing the gospel, but has purpose, goals, and principles.

The purpose of RUF is to reach students for Christ, all students not just Christians or non-Christians, but we all are in need of Christ everyday. And then to equip them to serve. RUF is a ministry of purpose not methods. No two campus are exactly alike. We then accomplish our purpose by working toward four goals. Growth in grace where students grow in understanding of the gospel and their need for the grace of Christ. Fellowship and service is where students are involved in genuine relationships to one another and looking for opportunities to be inconvenienced in love. Evangelism and missions is where students are using their gifts for reaching others and growing in their concern for the lost throughout the world. The fourth goal is a biblical world and life view that students will have when seeing everything in relation to God and His word. Those goals alone changed how I was approaching ministry.

The four principles that underlie our goals and purposes are Scripture, Justification, Sanctification, and Glorification. These are the four things that we as interns have to be more and more aware of as we desire to serve. Its not that I haven’t already extensively studied these things, but that I heard new and fresh ideas behind them all this week. How my sin can get in the way of me believing in all of them and that I will be growing in knowing and understanding how God works in them and through them for the next two years. This isn’t even a crumb of the cake we attacked this week. At points it was information overload and I am still trying to sit and process it all.

I am so thankful for God and his goodness to me and the 41 other interns who are in the new class of 2009! Please continue to pray for fundraising and all the things that are on my plate for the month of June.

Encouragement for the Week.

As many of you know the support raising has begun. Technically I don't have any official supporters yet but was surprised to talk to many people face to face this weekend who are most certainly interested in supporting the ministry. This past weekend I went home for a good friends wedding, which I am sure I could yap about the amazingness of marriage and its picture of Christ and the church but I won't. I was immediately discouraged when a seemingly close person to me said they didn't see it possible to raise this money. Earlier they supported my decision fully but now with a knowledge of exactly how much it was going to be, they lack any amount of faith to believe it possible. To this I began to wonder.......

If we deem the sun not there, does it still shine?
If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it not make a sound?
If we say where is love because we cannot see or physically touch it, do we say no one has it?
If I say there is no gravity but experience it every moment, do I not deny reality?
If we say there is no truth, are we not deeming what we say to be true?
And if you say there is no God because you do not see him, hear him, or believe in him, does that then mean that he does not exist or interact sovereignly in this world???
By no means. Just because I or we or us cannot see God's faithfulness to us and his plan for us doesn't mean He doesn't exist.

Later on in the weekend another friend said to me, quite plain and simple. "God works in such amazing ways. He will provide for you." This was also in the context of her knowing many other friends who have worked in campus ministry before. When we let our hearts muddy up situations things become much more complicated than they are. But it is as simple as God is good and He does work all things for those who love him. Christ died for us. How much more sacrifice and evidence do we need from a God who is perfect in every way and out of pure kindness stepped down to man to make us right with himself.

"And God is able to make all things abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." --2 Corinthians 9:8

RUF Summer Conference

For one whole week I got to be at one of the most beautiful beaches in Florida. It was a blessing that God provided financially for half of the trip through a gracious bible study. I was excited about the week for many reasons. My first week after a successful completion of undergrad, my last time as apart of VCU RUF, time apart from work, time apart from chaos, learning new things from the Word of God, meeting my new "boss" and students from Western, seeing white sand, oh the list goes on.

One theme of the week seemed to be the interesting variety of schools present. Many of the students I was with liked to point how different we are than most schools, especially southern schools. We certainly lack "spirit" and a school cheer thats for sure. But I found it quite encouraging. I have been told and have read all about the history of RUF and where the ministry exists in the country. However to see that many students come together from all over the country was amazing. The good work that RUF does in so many students lives through the grace of Jesus Christ alone was so clear to me.

I know I am a sucker for anything reformed and fluff free, so the week seemed to hit every spot of my heart. Whether everyone was a Christian or not Christ was made known and He was Glorified. At RUF there is no doubt that you will hear the truth of what GRACE is, how God is the creator of it and our need for it! That could be enough said but I will continue.

My favorite seminar I took was on Covenant Theology. It took my breathe away. I not only learned an abundance of new things that I truly needed to hear, but God humbled me through it to show me how he has been working for the good of me all along. Before I was born he was working a good work for me. I was impressed by a certain argument made by the campus minister for a certain controversial issue related to the topic. Note: email me if you want to discuss sed controversial topic

Another seminar I took was on keeping the Sabbath Day Holy..... Whoa a much bigger issue than you would ever believe. Not only do I now understand the Jewish Sabbath day better but I understand what ours should be. Its a day of celebration and thats why we should rest. Its a day of communion with other believers because God chose to commune with us. It is a time that we should give ourselves to resting in Christ and what He alone has done for us. He not only commands it but He creates us for it. And His work on the Cross compels us to celebrate his resurrection in a day apart from our daily routine. I loved how encouraging it was and to know it all comes down to the heart, Christ cares about the heart.

Finally then to mention something so amazing. The excitement I have about working with RUF. For sometime now I have been afraid to be excited about the opportunity that has come upon me. I allowed my feelings to dictate my reality and I allowed the post-modern worldview to seep into my emotions. I thought that if I got excited about things than surely it wouldn't work out. That I shouldn't get excited about it until I have raised all the money, thus truly "securing" my position. But the excitement was just to overwhelming this week and my realization of the true reality, that my assurance is in another.

This is the desire God has placed on my heart and thus I will see it through with excitement and joy. I do trust God to provide for me, as He is a faithful God that gives so undeserving. My faith in Him has already been increased by His provision of a campus minister who is not only godly but humorous. I got to meet Dave Osborne, the campus minister I will be working with and who will probably have enough of me in two years. Through meeting and talking with him at summer conference I realized how intimately God knows me. Dave seems to be someone that I not only will work well with but someone that I can easily become friends with. And if his family is anything as he is than I will be blessed even more. I rejoice in knowing that out of 120 campus ministers God chose me to work with Dave and I trust the good work that God is doing in him on the campus of Western will be fruitful. Now if only I can begin to be apart of it. Please be praying for my venture this summer of raising support.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is LOVE
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there! The risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased with His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God

One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased with His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

Got Some Reading To Do

Even though I will be getting an extensive list of stuff to read from RUF, I got 11 new books this week! Oh and plus I am reading Pilgrim's Progress but I'll have that knocked out in a few days no worries. Welcome to my summer:)


Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley

Glorious Freedom: The Excellency of the Gospel Above the Law by Richard Sibbes

The Mortification of Sin by John Owen

Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World by C. J. Mahaney

The Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther

The Religious Affections by Jonathan Edwards

The Pilgrim's Regress by C. S. Lewis

The Christ of the Covenants by O. Palmer Robertson

The Weight of Glory by C. S. Lewis

A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur

Surprised by Joy by C. S. Lewis

His glory in all Creation.

I actually have completely forgotten what I wanted to write about. But I am just amazed at God's goodness in all things..... ALL THINGS. I am so excited about each moment he gives me to live life for him. I just finished reading Finally Alive, John Piper's most recent publication. It took me way to long to read it. Needless to say I do read three books at a time, generally, and by read I really mean in the midst of waiting I get to crack something open. Waiting for a meeting or a class. Waiting at the DMV once a week for an hour. Waiting for night to come. Waiting until I come up with something thrilling to do.

Anyways it was an absolutely good read. I know this is a blog to be informative on my future plans and God's work in my life, so a book review might not seem appropriate. However this book, as most good books that contain scripture references every other sentence and are written by someone with awesome theology and writing skills, has helped me understand what "New Birth" and "New Life" really is and what it really looks like in Christ alone. I won't bore you with all my comments written on every other page of the now bent and stained thoroughly read book. But to follow are some awesome passages.

"I am my main problem. Not my deeds, and not my circumstances, and not the people in my life, but MY NATURE is my deepest personal problem."49

"The perfection we do not have, Jesus provided. The judgement we do not want, Jesus bore."74

"This truth, this living and abiding word, this gospel, is not a mantra. And it doesn't work like a mantra. It doesn't work through the repetition of sacred sounds. It works because it is the intelligible truth about what really happened when Jesus died and rose again, and because God means for his Son to be glorified by our knowing and believing who his Son really is and what he really did to save sinners...... the whole worldview supporting mantra is misguided and mistaken. It isn't rooted in history. It isn't rooted in Jesus Christ. it isn't rooted in the intelligibility of historical narrative. I pray that you don't just sign up for your local yoga class and not know what you are doing. Yoga is to the body what mantra is to the mouth."114

"The incarnation lasts forever. The second person of the Trinity will forever be united with human nature. We will always know him as Jesus, one like us, and infinitely above us - the first born among many brothers (Rom. 8:29). God did not, and does not, despise the physical creation that he made."146

"So let us first be a very practical people who love in deeds and not just words (talking of people after their new birth in Christ). Then let's be a sacrificial people who deny ourselves for the sake of others and lay down our lives the way Christ laid down his life. And then let's be a lavishly generous people with everything we have, knowing that it all belongs to God, and we belong to God. We are his children. We have his nature. And he is love."161

"Seeking to bring my vagrant feelings into line with the ultimate reality. My feelings are not God. God is God. My feelings do not define truth. God's word defines truth. My feelings are echoes and responses to what my mind perceives. And sometimes- many times- my feelings are out of sync with the truth. When that happens I try not to bend the truth to justify my imperfect feelings, but rather, I plead with God: Purify my perceptions of your truth and transform my feelings so that they are in sync with the truth."165

"Religious fakes were no surprise to Jesus. He prepared his most stinging words for them. They do not contradict the new birth. They confirm it. What could possibly change a "brood of vipers" (Matt. 12:34)? Reformation is not what vipers need. They need regeneration. Religious fraud does not make the new birth nonsense;it makes it necessary."191

Western Carolina University?

I now know that I have been appointed to go to Western Carolina University! Where is that, you might be wondering. Well same here. It is in a town 7 hours south of Richmond in North Carolina called Cullowhee. No I still do not know the correct pronunciation of the town name but I am sure I will learn. The University has around 10,000 students and is growing rapidly. Its right in the middle of the mountains and only a half an hour away from the Great Smoky Mountains National Park..... How exciting. I am so stoked to know where I will be going in August. I looked forward to loving the people at Western and getting to know the campus minister there and his family as well. Now that I have an official place to go I ask that you would be praying for this University and the students there. That God's glory would be made known there and that his kingdom would grow in the lives of the students there. I can't describe how excited I am to work with RUF and to see how I will be needed and used in the small town of Cullowhee, North Carolina!

Thankful for God's WORD

Are you thankful that God reveals himself to us through a physical book?

When was the last time you praised him for what we do know of his great and amazing character?

How often do we manipulate the Bible to make our own graven images?

Praise God because he has compassion on humanity and in our enmity reached down to save us from the judgment we deserve. Praise him for revealing himself to us through his living and abiding Word, that we can physically hold. Now let us encourage one another along to read it more and rely on it alone more faithfully.

Romans 5:6-11

⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

⁹Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! ¹⁰For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

What happened in New York City?

Well I wanted to write an update for anyone who is wondering what happened over my spring break. I hope this message finds you well as well as I am, refreshed to know God is certainly good. For one week a group of us from VCU stayed in Harlem and traveled on the subway everyday to Washington Heights to work with an organization called Operation Exodus. If I had any expectations before going, they were certainly shattered the first day.

When we first got to New York we had the opportunity to go to times square and walk around the city with all the bright lights. Sunday we went to a church called Redeemer which I was super excited about because the pastor there is an author that I like a lot. His sermon was the prefect set up for the week. He spoke about examining what our rightgeousness hangs on. Do we rely on our jobs or skills or kids or money to be what makes us who we are? Do my grades in school make me right with God? No Christ is our righteousness and to cling to him is essential in all aspects of life.
Monday through Friday was essentially the same with fun notes here and there. We would spend four hours in the morning working on organizing and cleaning up the facility that the kids come to after school. When the kids would arrive at 3 in the afternoon the choas would start. It was quite sobering to see the lack of respect the kids had for authority but their willingness to spend time working and talking with us was surprising. I think the main goal of the week for us was to make God's grace clear to these children. Most of them were of Catholic backgrounds or apart of homes that were very legalistic in nature. It is so important that we all know that it is nothing that can be done on our part but all of what God has done on our behalf. To make the impression on these kids that they are not good enough on their own, but need to embrace Jesus to be right with God was what the week was about (for them and us).

We want to continue to pray for this organization, the people who work there and the children who attend. We want to pray that God will use it for his glory and to bring people to understanding of his wonderful grace that is so essential in eternity. I am very thankful for the outpouring of grace by the people in my life who provided the finances, way more than was need for me alone but benefitted the group. I am extremely humbled by the many many things God has been teaching me over the last week in numerous ways.

"What do you think God's favorite color is?" --A first grader

If you want to look at more of my pictures click on the I love Photography link to the right.

The Lord Will Provide.

I just wanted to write how amazing God has been to me through my family and friends. For this trip we were responsible to raise around $785 per person. Little did I know how full of generosity and loving hearts the people I know are. Many people have given 10 times the amount I asked of them. Having your expectations shattered in this way is extremely encouraging. I have raised over $1000 thus far and this could continue to grow. This is so incredible and very encouraging to me. The "extra" money that has been graciously given will by no means go to waste. I believe that through God's sovereignty he has organized this perfectly. Other students who do not have their money raised will receive the extra money in their account. I am so excited that through all of you I can be supportive of my group as a whole as they are in need. We have one week left before we leave and are frantically planning and preparing for what we will be doing in New York. Praise to God for people like you who are so willing to sacrifice financially for his GLORY!

Mission Trip to New York City!!!

For the week of March 7th to 14th a group of 5 students and Chris Daniel, the RUF campus minister will embark on a journey to lend many hands in New York City. We have chosen to spend our spring break serving there with an organization called Operation Exodus. Operation Exodus is a ministry mostly for school aged children, to reach them for Christ and offer opportunities to them they don’t get elsewhere. Exodus is a place for kids to come after school and receive tutoring, friendship, a time of fun, and The Gospel! We are going to be spending one week from March 7th to 14th working with Operation Exodus. We will be directing activities, befriending these inner city children and sharing the hope and love of Jesus Christ through worship and sharing the word of God. We will also have the opportunity to perform some hands on grunt work that needs to be done around the facility as time allows.

I am very excited about this opportunity as I have never actually been on a "official" mission trip, which may come as a shocker to most of you who know how I spent my summer. As I have traveled to places like India and Australia that are far away and distant it wasn't with the official goal of sharing Christ. This excites me to a great extreme and I am hoping that you will join with me in praying for this opportunity and as well as for me to be financially supported when March rolls around.

"Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions
exists because worship doesn't. Worship is ultimate, not missions,
because God is ulitmate, not man." - John Piper Let the Nations be
Glad

Friends and Family are Fun to Have.

Granny's 93rd Birthday was celebrated with much Joy!

I love when I get to see friends that make my heart flutter and my mouth sing.

Just wanted to post some pictures of my family and friends that I don't get to see as often as I would like. And to share some fun memories with those who read my blog.

Approval Feels So Good.

As I mentioned earlier I had a final interview with the Virginia RUF board last week. First off it was super encouraging to meet that many older men who are serving God in the church body and beyond. I loved the time we had, especially because it was my first real step towards working with RUF. During the interview I will have to say I was a bit nervous but I answered to my best ability, and things went smoothly. While the board was making their decision I got to meet other students who were applying as well from Washington & Lee and it was really encouraging to hear about the size, HUGE compared to ours, of their RUF. They all were quite nervous too and were not sure what to expect when we got pulled back into the room. However we walked in and they extended their approval to us all to appoint us as Official RUF Interns!! I am very excited and could not be more thrilled to do anything else after I graduate. I am now just praying and putting all my trust in the Lord that he will provide supporters along my journey to the month of August when it all starts. The next official step is to find out which campus I will be appointed to. Pray for a location that will suit me and the plans the Lord has for this ministry.

Everyday We Learn Something New

Today my sister found out she will be having another Girl! I could not be more excited.

On February the 5th I will be going to Charlottesville for an interview with the RUF board, pray that my nerves would be calm and that I would be confident in who the Lord has made me.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Psalm 34:10

On the Road.

This is what I think of now when North Carolina is Mentioned. My roommate and I took a nice little road trip down there and even amongst the lameness of the capital I saw the beauty in design. With lots of conversation and exploring of the city and its museums I would say it was a successful time had.

Revelation.

So this semester Laura and I are leading a woman's bible study group in Revelation. I decided that I would go ahead and read through the whole book the past few days to get a feel for the main themes and what not. At first I was reluctant to do the study on this book because I was under the impression that if I know nothing of what all the symbolism is I know nothing of what the book is saying (lets just say I haven't turned to its pages in a long time either). But God has certainly opened my eyes to this amazing book that reveals his Glory, Power, Might and Promises to us.

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!" Rev. 4:8


"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created." Rev 4:11


"Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals,
for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation,
and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,
and they shall reign on the earth." Rev 5:9-10


"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!" Rev 5:12


"Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!" Rev 7:10


"Therefore they are before the throne of God,
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence.
They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore;
the sun shall not strike them,
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd,
and he will guide them to springs of living water,
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Rev 7:15-17


So I went to the angel and told him to give me the little scroll. And he said to me, "Take and eat it; it will make your stomach bitter, but in your mouth it will be sweet as honey." And I took the little scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it. It was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it my stomach was made bitter. And I was told, "You must again prophesy about many peoples and nations and languages and kings." Rev 10:9-11

And about this last passage my commentary by John MacArthur had this to say; "This actually illustrates God's Word. John's physical reactions demonstrate what every believer's proper response to God's judgment should be -- sweet anticipation of God's glory and the Christians' victory, and at the same time, the bitterness of seeing God's wrath poured out on those who reject His Son. As he truly digests what the seal, trumpet, and bowl judgments hold in store for the sinner, John becomes nauseated. But still, God's final victory and vindication are sweet realities to the believer."

Love, Love, Love, Love....

Listening to a talk about the misconception of evangelism today made want to post it on this blog however I am not finding a way to do so. So I until I am able to post it will summarize...... and well add my own little words in too. The gospel is not "love". Love is a COMMAND. Thus we are called to love, but there are many different ways. The non-believer loves also, so what is the difference between you loving on the people around you and a Buddhist or Atheist loving the people around him? Nothing if it is anything like the liberal Christian who was talking to Todd from way of the master. Are we under the impression that all we are called to do is live our lives being happy Christian people who are supposed to rub off on those around us? Do we think that somehow osmosis occurs and people get saved? Or does the Bible, the very Word of God demand something better and bolder of us? We need to be specific and we need to open our mouths. When we share the gospel, especially by using the Ten Commandments to help one understand what Sin is and to whom it is against (a Righteous and Holy Just God) and that His mercy and grace alone through the Death and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ justifies us to himself then we are truly expressing our concern for others through a compassionate love that says I care for your eternal soul......... and in sharing the gospel God gets glorified and we are obedient.

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." -1 John 4:10

I like this Tract:
What happens to your facebook when you die? Who knows! Here's another question; what will happen to you when you die? What if entry to Heaven were based on how many friends you had on facebook? What if you needed 200 friends? What about 1000? The Bible says it's appointed once for man to die, then comes Judgment. Will you be innocent or guilty? The way to find out is to ask yourself if you've kept the 10 Commandments. Have you ever lied? (9th Commandment) Have you ever stolen? (8th) Using God's name casually or to swear is blasphemy & breaks the 3rd commandment. Sin is breaking God's Law - How'd you do? Are you a sinner? Heaven or Hell? The Bible warns that if we die in our sins, we'll end up in Hell. But God doesn't want that. God demonstrates His love towards us in that while we were yet sinners Jesus Christ suffered & died on the Cross, then He rose from the dead. You broke the Law & Jesus paid the fine. You can't earn your way to Heaven by doing good things (Ephesians 2:8-9) but if you repent (confess & give up your sins) and trust in Jesus alone, God will forgive you & grant you the gift of eternal life. God's offer is similar to a 'friend request' in that you can accept or reject it. -- You received this card from someone that wants you to go to Heaven. Please seriously consider your eternal destiny. Start reading the Bible every day & obey what you read. Thank you for reading this. Visit: www.YouGotOurTract.com

Videos that I Enjoyed Today.

Dear Atheist, Its easy to miss something you aren't looking for.

Looking for a church? By what standards?

I wish I would have had this posted on facebook or something on Christmas. Jesus OR Santa?

Pictures

The Nations Capital.

I love Christmas. And I love when it is spent with people you love.

This is one of the most precious things in my life:) I have plenty of pictures on flickr as well.

First Post.... And Long Awaited.

As the New Year begins I want to finally get on top of writing "my blog". To start off I am not the biggest fan of blogging especially just personal blogging where one writes emotion after emotion. One because it can be a mind game and two because its intense. But I am inspired to do so. However my goal is to keep family and friends updated on things taking place in my life; which revolves around the Lord Jesus Christ (so I am hoping too that this can serve as a witnessing tool). I have recently applied to do an Internship with the campus ministry RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) and I hope to use this as an outlet to inform people who partner with me financially, in prayer and encouragement. Although I am unsure of how or when or where the internship will work out to be, if God allows, I want to take a moment to share why I have chosen to pursue this avenue after 4 years of college education.

I spent the past summer of 2008 doing an internship in India. Many things led to my making this decision. I wanted to travel. I wanted to experience something new and different. I wanted to lend my time to those who were in need of it. I wanted to go to India. So I went under the impression I would find a great love and passion for those living there; especially the orphaned and those with HIV/AIDS (as those were the people we were reaching out to). While I did enjoy my time a great deal; learning a new language, exploring new land, making friends, helping to change lives. But what I found amongst those also volunteering, and all from western countries, was the fact that they were far from knowing the gospel. Just as much as those who worshiped the statues in the streets and the cows meandering, these friends I made had not take the time to define their own beliefs or discovering truth in this world. It was on this trip that I realized as much as there is a need for missions aboard, and as much as I have a heart for that, there was a need for missions at home. I found myself knowing that the need for Christ to be preached and people to be reached in the U.S. was just as great, especially amongst people around my age.

As I have experienced college is a time of questioning, answering, discovering, uncovering, learning, growing and deciding who we are in this bizarre world. I have come to know Christ more and more through the RUF at my campus, but even more importantly God used it as an avenue to encourage me to become more involved in ministering, just as we all are called to do. I have a desire to do good things that are pleasing and glorifying to the Lord. I love serving at the Pregnancy Resource Center, my church and RUF. To extend this opportunity to my full time attention for the next chapter in my life is something I have spent much time in prayer about. I believe that this opportunity will grow me in Christ, grow my mind in wisdom, grow my heart in compassion, grow my mouth in boldness and having me understanding ministry to its fullest. I look forward to the opportunity to embrace those who are in situations that I was also once in. To embrace hard questions on the college campus of today, to see students brought to Christ, while growing those whom already trust in him to boldness and faithfulness is what I am excited about.

I end with this quick, possibly cheesy thought......... While catching up with old friends over the holiday season we discussed peoples ability to fall in and out of love. And with "man" it is possible to lose that 'lovin feelin'. In this world our desires, our lusts, our emotions fade in and out. But knowing Christ is such a greater love than these. He never leaves me. He never deceives me. He sees to it that I am being perfected. He reveals my flaws and presents opportunities to make them right in him. He comforts me. He speaks to me through his word. He provides for me. He is the greatest love I have ever experienced. To share that is what our lives are for.